True Catharsis & Psychic Alchemy.

I just want to know
where to find the waters,
how to go,
with my inner flow,

currently
constipated.

I cannot recall clearly
the fall from grace
that led me here, seeking

my face, immobilized
by this relentless fear,

I know I shed
blood and tears
that own me

to this day, bind me,
obstruct my way,
inspired my descent
into this decay.

Lifetimes dead and gone,
can’t right the wrongs,
can’t sing the songs,
or sketch or pastel

my heights
or paint my pains
until I suspend myself

in the tension,
hold my own,
find the courage
to channel

the forbidden past,
bootleg memories,

engage in some true
catharsis,
engage in this psychic
alchemy.

So why these walls?
Why this cage?

The hatred is too deep.
The fear: it consumes me.

Got to be a way out of this.
Provide a map. Please.

I need my passions.
I need my peace.